Developing Empathy through Curiosity and Active Listening
Key takeaways:
Active listening skills involve mirroring, but it may seem superficial at first but can lead to fundamental behavior changes
Developing curiosity instead of anger when listening to someone with whom you disagree can lead to empathy and understanding
Understanding someone with whom you disagree is a complex and difficult process but can ultimately lead to empathy and understanding
Transcript:
Speaker 1
That would be an alternative response and probably somewhat less productive. No, I think it's way better. I think it's way better. If I was debating you, that might have been my response. And so I think what I'm getting at is, first of all, on your two points, I don't think I agree with the first one. The fact that something might seem superficial when you first try it doesn't mean that it can't permeate in a way that will fundamentally change your behavior. So picking up on Kevin's point, one of the skills of active listening certainly is mirroring, but that is, you said, a relatively superficial tool when it's first practiced. Your second point about the difference between listening and understanding, I think, is more complicated and harder, but the process of doing that does teach one empathy. The line I like, which I think is very helpful, is curious, not furious. If your first reaction to hearing someone, even to your point, someone with whom you disagree quite profoundly is to be furious, it's very unlikely you're ever going to get to a point of empathy or the ability to understand what you might think. If you're curious, on the other hand, if you go through a process of asking questions, I think that is a skill that ultimately will allow you to actually develop empathy, to develop some understanding, even with people with whom you disagree quite profoundly.
Speaker 4
I wanted to ask, no, the third point, just to clarify so I understood, when you said that (Time 0:21:04)
